Dementia Companion Care in Your Own Language: Why the Mother Tongue and a Familiar Face Matter
Updated: 5 hours ago
By Samantha, Founder of Livia Care
When I started looking into care options for my parents in Vietnam, I met caregivers who were qualified and kind. Language was never an issue there, since everyone speaks Vietnamese. Still, something was often missing: the click, that feeling of being truly understood by the person coming into your home. That experience is a big part of why I started Livia Care here in the GTA.
It matters even more when someone is living with dementia. The Alzheimer Society of Ontario estimated that 316,600 Ontarians were living with dementia by the end of 2024, a number expected to triple by 2050. Across Toronto, Etobicoke, Mississauga, Oakville and North York, many of those people learned English as adults. As dementia progresses, that second language is often the first thing to slip away.
This article explains why that happens, why a familiar face and a familiar language make such a difference, and what dementia companion care built around one person can look like.
If you're earlier in the journey, our Dementia Care at Home: A Complete Guide for Families covers the basics, from early signs and stages to keeping your loved one safe at home.
Why people with dementia return to their mother tongue
Dementia tends to affect newer memories first. Older, deeply rooted memories often last much longer. Language follows a similar pattern.
Researchers and families have observed this for decades. A review of bilingualism and dementia found enough evidence to conclude that people who speak two or more languages tend to revert to their primary language as dementia advances. A clinical study of bilingual Alzheimer's patients reported the same thing: language use often returns to the first language learned.
In practice, this can look like:
A father who ran his business in English for 40 years now answers only in Cantonese
A mother who mixes Hindi and English mid-sentence, then gradually uses mostly Hindi
A grandparent who can no longer follow conversations with staff or with English-speaking grandchildren
For many families, this is one of the hardest changes to watch. Your parent is still there, but the world around them has started speaking a language they can no longer reach.
What it feels like to be surrounded by a language you've lost
Imagine being unwell, a little confused, and cared for by kind people whose words you can't follow. Every instruction feels like a surprise. Every question goes unanswered.
That gap often shows up as behaviour. A person may seem withdrawn, anxious, or resistant to care. They may refuse a bath or a meal, or become upset in the late afternoon. Sometimes what looks like agitation is a person trying to communicate and not being understood.
When a caregiver speaks their language, small things change. A greeting lands. A joke gets a smile. "Time to eat" becomes an invitation instead of a command.
Why a familiar face matters
Language is one part of it. Familiarity is the other.
People living with dementia may forget names, but they often remember how someone makes them feel. Seeing the same companion week after week builds that sense of safety. A rotating schedule of new caregivers asks a person with memory loss to meet a stranger again and again.
Culture matters here too. A companion who shares a person's background often understands the details that are hard to explain:
How to address an elder respectfully, whether that's Bà, Ayi, Nani or Señora
Which foods feel like comfort, and how they're usually prepared
What a holiday like Lunar New Year, Diwali or Christmas means in their home
When to speak and when to simply sit together
These aren't extras. For someone whose world is getting smaller, they're what makes a day feel like their own.
Matching on personality and the family's goals
Language and culture are the starting point. A good match also depends on personality and on what the family is working toward.
One family I work with is a good example. The son has put a lot of effort into helping his mother, who lives with dementia, stay active and fit. Her daily exercise and healthy meals matter for her health, and he wants that to continue. A caregiver who simply goes along with whatever she prefers in the moment would slowly undo that work. He needs someone warm and assertive, who can encourage her to finish her exercises or choose the healthier meal.
Another family might need a calm, quiet companion for someone who gets overwhelmed easily. Both caregivers can be excellent PSWs. They're the right fit for different people.
That's why I don't place whoever happens to be available. I meet each family, learn about the person and their goals, and match on personality as carefully as on skills and language.
A program built around the person
Good dementia care starts with what a person can still do. At Livia, we use a strength-based approach and draw on frameworks such as Gentle Persuasive Approaches (GPA), a dementia care training program widely used in Ontario.
Before care begins, I meet with each family in person. We talk about their loved one's life story: where they grew up, what work they did, the music they loved, what calms them and what upsets them. That becomes the base for an individual engagement plan, which might include:
Music from their youth and in their language, from Vietnamese nhạc vàng to Bollywood classics to Cantonese opera
Art and hands-on activities, such as painting, calligraphy, knitting or sorting familiar objects
Food and cooking, like folding dumplings or preparing tea the way they always have
Reminiscence, using family photos, old maps of their hometown or favourite stories
Faith and ritual, such as prayer, chanting or familiar religious music, if that's part of their life
Gentle movement, like a short walk, light stretching or time in the garden
Music is one of the best-studied tools. A systematic review of randomized controlled trials found that individualized music listening had a positive impact on agitation, anxiety and depression in people with dementia. A separate meta-analysis found that music interventions had a meaningful effect on agitation. Music chosen around the person's own taste tends to work best.
The research is one thing. Seeing it is another. This short featurette from Alive Inside: A Story of Music & Memory, a documentary shown at the 2014 Sundance Film Festival, follows people in late-stage dementia as they listen to music from their past. Some who barely speak start to sing, move and talk about their memories. Every time I watch it, a few of those moments bring tears to my eyes.
None of this reverses dementia. What it can do is create more moments of connection: a song someone sings along to, a recipe they remember, an afternoon that ends calmly.
What engagement can look like
For many families, the hardest part is feeling like they've lost the person they knew. A personalized, language-matched program helps bring parts of that person back into the room.
What we watch for, and share with families, includes:
More conversation, even in short phrases
Recognizing and responding to their companion
Joining in with music, cooking or art for longer stretches
Calmer afternoons and smoother personal care
Progress looks different for everyone, and dementia does change over time. That's why we adjust the plan as needs change and keep families informed with a weekly report.
Dementia companion care with Livia in the GTA
Livia Care is a boutique in-home care and companionship service based in Etobicoke. We serve families across the GTA, including Toronto, downtown Toronto, Etobicoke, Mississauga, Oakville and North York.
Our Dementia Companion program includes:
Language and culture matching. Our caregivers speak English, Spanish, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hindi, Bengali, Marathi, Telugu, Vietnamese and more, and we can recruit for a specific language on request.
The same companion over time. We match on your loved one's needs and preferences, then keep that relationship steady.
Certified PSWs. Every companion is a certified personal support worker trained in First Aid and CPR, so they can also help with personal care.
At home or in care. We support people at home and in retirement and long-term care homes, alongside the home's own team.
A founder you can reach. I check in after shifts, send a weekly report, and visit clients myself.
If your parent is starting to lose their English, or simply seems lonelier than before, I'd be glad to talk. You can reach me at 647-693-1504.
Frequently asked questions
What is a dementia companion?
A dementia companion is a trained caregiver who spends regular, one-on-one time with a person living with dementia. They focus on connection and meaningful activity, such as conversation, music, art and outings, and can also help with daily tasks. At Livia, every dementia companion is a certified PSW.
Why do people with dementia go back to their first language?
Dementia usually affects newer memories before older ones. Research shows that people who speak more than one language often revert to the language they learned first as dementia progresses, and may lose much of the language they learned later in life.
Can I find a dementia caregiver in the GTA who speaks my parent's language?
As availability permits, Livia matches caregivers who speak English, Spanish, French, Italian, Ukrainian, Romanian, Mandarin, Cantonese, Teochew, Hindi, Bengali, Marathi, Tamil, Telugu, Malayalam, Punjabi, Urdu, Arabic, Farsi, Vietnamese , Filipino, Nepali, Tibetan, and other languages. If your loved one speaks a language that isn't listed, tell us. We'll look for a caregiver who speaks it and keep you updated on what we find.
Can a dementia companion visit my parent in a retirement or long-term care home?
Yes. Our Dementia Companion program is available at home and in retirement and long-term care homes across the GTA. The companion works alongside the home's own care team and follows the home's caregiver policies.
Which areas do you serve?
We provide home care across Toronto and the GTA. Areas and neighborhoods served include Rosedale, Forest Hill, Bridle Path, Lawrence Park, Leaside, Yorkville, Thornhill, North York, Etobicoke, Mississauga, Oakville, Richmond Hill, Markham, Vaughan, Aurora and King City.
How long is each visit?
Visits are typically at least 3 hours. In some cases we can offer 2-hour visits when a nearby caregiver is available. There is no weekly minimum.
How do I get started?
Call Samantha at 647-693-1504. I'll meet you and your loved one in person, learn about their story and preferences, and match them with the right companion.
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