Supporting Aging Parents From Afar

I’m an only child. My parents are in their 70s, and over the past few years, their health has started to decline in quiet, gradual ways. They live across the world from me, in Vietnam. Like many adult children living abroad, I’m constantly aware of the distance — even when life feels busy and full here.

My parents are fortunate in many ways. They live close to friends and extended family, and the sense of community in Vietnam is strong. People check in. Family offers to cook for them on days they can’t cook. That brings comfort. Still, distance changes what care looks like.

Here are a few ways I’ve learned to support my parents from afar.

Stay present in ordinary ways

I check in often — not long conversations, but regular ones. A few video calls a week. Over time, these small moments help me notice changes that might otherwise be missed.

Check in on health

I make it a point to ask how they’re sleeping, whether something hurts, how a medication feels. I try to ask calmly, without alarm. Often, parents don’t bring things up unless invited.

Help with the thinking

Even from afar, I can help figure things out. I research doctors. I ask friends in Vietnam for recommendations. I help understand procedures and next steps. Sometimes just organizing information reduces a lot of stress.

Arrange support when needed

Distance doesn’t mean helplessness. Many things can be coordinated remotely — through extended family, trusted friends, or professional services. What matters isn’t doing everything yourself, but making sure support is in place.

Respect independence

This took time for me. Wanting to help can easily turn into wanting to manage. I remind myself that my parents are still adults with their own preferences and pride. Supporting them doesn’t mean taking over — it means standing beside them.

Caring from afar carries its own quiet weight — worry, guilt, the feeling of never quite doing enough. I’ve learned to acknowledge that without letting it turn into self-blame.

Care doesn’t disappear with distance. It simply changes form. Often, it shows up through attention, coordination, and the steady decision to stay connected — again and again.